lördag 26 juli 2008

E-writing assignment 2

You're waiting at a bus stop in your home town. A well-mannered and well-spoken male tourist stops by and asks you for directions to places he says he's been told to visit during his stay. You offer to help him, but as the conversation continues you find yourself overwhelmed by a growing sense of unease.

- Excuse me, miss?
- Yes?
- Could you be so kind and direct me to Hyde Park? I'm only visiting this town, and I've been told that it's really beautiful.
- Oh, why of course! It's actually not very far from here. If you just follow Cherrygrove Lane down to the intersection, then turn left and then right at the next street, you'll be there. It's only a couple of minutes away.
- I see, so right and then left?
- No, the other way round.
- Oh, this is so like me. I tell you, I've been known to get lost in supermarkets...
- (giggles) Well, I suppose I could take you there; my bus doesn't leave in fifteen minutes anyway.
- Could you? That is so very kind of you!
- No problem. This way.
- You should know that I've only talked to different conductors for days. It feels good to meet a young, pleasant human-being at last...
- Well, I guess they can be a bit cranky.
- You have no idea.
- Hyde Park is very beautiful indeed. It’s a must see, so I’m not surprised that you’ve been recommended to visit it. The old oak-trees, the lake, the exotic flowers… I’m sure you will enjoy it.
- Mhm.
- Pardon?
- Oh, I’m sorry. I was just looking at your hair.
- My hair?
- Yes. Are you a natural redhead?
- … yes.
- Your hair is very pretty.
- Thank you… Well, here we are now. Look, you can see that some of the trees are higher than the house-roofs.
- Does it cost anything to enter?
- (opens the gate) No, it’s completely free.
- Young lady, you really do surprise me.
- I do? How come?
- You tag along a stranger without even blinking, after the sunset, when a young woman was murdered not far from here just two months ago…
- Ehm, I guess I’m not easily frightened…
- (closes the gate to the park behind them) Maybe you should be.

A wealthy woman has called for her nearly-grown son to talk to him about a sensitive subject. Their relationship is very strained.

- So? You said you wanted to talk to me and here I am.
- Come over here.
- I think I’ll be staying where I am if you don’t mind.
- Mitchell, my dear boy…
- Skip the sapping and get on with it, will you?
- I forbid you to see him anymore.
- (leans back into an armchair) Oh, this is going to be good.
- I am serious about this!
- Just on what grounds do you think you’re authorized to even consider such a thing? I am eighteen and I can do what I want!
- Not without your dad’s money, you can’t.
- Is this what I think it is?
- Mitchell…
- You’re threatening to disown me if I don’t stop seeing David?
- You need to come back down to earth! That David has twisted your head and filled it with lies. There is no life for you with him! You were once such a nice boy, so handsome, all the girls fawned over you. You had everything, but that wasn’t enough!
- I had nothing.
- What?!
- I had nothing until I met David.
- Oh Lord, give me strength…
- Does it scare you?
- Scare me? What?
- Does it scare you that your useless son has found the greatest, most beautiful thing this rotten world has to offer? Something that you yourself never have been close to experiencing?
- I don’t know what you’re talking about.
- Love, mother! For fucks sake, to think that I have to explain it to you! I love David, I love him and there is nothing you can do about it!
- You don’t love him, Mitchell! People like him don’t know love! (her voice pitches higher) My son cannot be in love with a sodomist!
- Thank you, mother.
- …
- You have told me everything I needed to know. I understand now that this is not about me, this is about your perfect world. And, since I will not be able to fit into it, I will leave. Don’t mourn the fact that you’ve never loved me, someone else does. (he turns to leave)
- Mitchell!
- And don’t worry about the money. I’ll manage.
(he leaves)

And now, the one without description.

- Will you stop that!?
- ... (munching)
- Bart, I'm talking to you! Stop it!
- (looks up) What's with all the racket?
- Stop eating those, they are not for you!
- The brownies?
- YES, the bloody brownies! Gods, I swear it's like being a babysitter!
- (still munching away) There is only one baby here.
- Oh yeah?
- Quite frankly, my dear, I am three times older than you...
- Would you be so kind and start acting like it, then? (gathering up the remaining brownies) These were meant for Jocet and Saorla!
- You have only yourself to blame, putting them in the middle of the table where I could see them. I'm like the stalking cougar, when I see my prey, I switch to auto-mode. It was pure instinct, I swear.
- (smiling) Someone has been watching to much Animal Planet.
- And what a great channel it is! They have this new show on, called "The Wild Cat Diaries". Have you seen it, dear?
- I don't really have the time to watch TV.
- It's on tonight, maybe we could watch it together?
- I have so much to do...
- Please?
- Grandpa...
- Pretty-like-a-cougar-please?
- (sighs and smiles) Well, all right.
- Old Barty still has it (pats himself on the shoulder). Oh, I remember in my younger days, there wasn't a girl in town who could say no to me...
- (laughing) I think it's time for your nap.
- Indeed it is, lassie. Roll 'em away!
(She grabs the handles on his wheelchair and they leave the kitchen)

3 kommentarer:

Jimmy Nordenfelt sa...

I really liked your dialogues. They were both good in language as well as taking the stories onward. Great work!

Anonym sa...

Hehe, that last one was great!

You did a really good job in gradually letting the scenario unfold until the end when we realized Bart was an old man in a wheelchair. Oh, and this quote just made my day:

"I'm like the stalking cougar, when I see my prey, I switch to auto-mode. It was pure instinct, I swear."

Keep up the good work! ;)

gunjor sa...

You've really managed to
write in a dialogue form.
Both of them was really good,
but frankly spoken the last
one was best.
July, 2008, Nilla